The Clumsy Clairvoyant Read online

  13

  Lucas

  I was still reeling over Grace telling me no. First off, I wasn't used to being told no. Second, I'd done things by the damn book. Taken charge. Showed initiative. Showed remorse, even though she told me I hadn't. She was full of it. I'd even packed champagne. Total chick magnet picnic.

  My brother brushed past me. "I can see your wheels turning, Lucas. I can see you dissecting everything you think you did right to try to figure out why Grace rejected you. Again. The answer is...you're an asshole."

  I tossed my coffee mug directly at Colin's head. "You're totally clueless. She can't stand you either."

  Colin grinned. "I'm quite aware. Although I know what I did wrong and I do have plans to make amends to her. You, on the other hand, sit on your throne of lies and delusions and blame everything on her. You, my friend, are what the women in this town call a first rate prick."

  I wish I had another mug to chuck at his head. "Since when did you become the woman whisperer?"

  Colin flopped down in the chair across from me. "Since Grace called me out on my wicked ways." He sighed. "Such a woman."

  Jealousy ripped through my heart, surprising the shit out of me. Why should I be jealous if my brother had a crush on that shrew?

  "Have at it," I said, though the words tasted sour against my tongue.

  "Maybe I will," Colin said. "Maybe I will."

  There was a deadly pause before my brother added, "Or maybe you can get your shit together and finally give that woman the apology you've owed her for weeks now."

  "I tried," I mumbled.

  Colin snorted. "Sure you did."

  I sat up straighter. "I did!"

  "Let me guess." Colin held up a finger. "You smirked." He held up another finger. "Inferred that you were doing her a favor."

  A third finger. "Asked her if a man could make a mistake." A fourth one. "Told her everyone deserves a second chance." And then a fifth. "Then packed a picnic basket and took her to the park?"

  I stared at my brother. "Where's the tracking chip?" I asked flatly.

  Colin's eyes widened. "You mean I got all of that right?" He chortled. "You truly are an asshole."

  I put a hand over my eyes. "I'm not good at this," I admitted.

  "Because things fall into your lap. We're rich. Handsome. Blessed with immortality and powers of glamour. All things many people care about. Money, power, magic." Colin shrugged. "And Grace doesn't give a shit about any of it."

  I laughed, but it came out harsh. "Exactly. She looks at me like she stepped on a cow patty."

  "You do not honor her."

  "Her tongue is barbed like a dragon and her wit is darker than my coffee."

  "So you value her intelligence."

  "She outwits me at every turn." I dropped my hand and studied my brother who looked way too gleeful sitting across from me. "She notices things. I had something in my pocket I kept messing with and she called me out on it."

  My brother frowned. "What was in your pocket?"

  Shit. Abort. Abort! "Oh," I tried for nonchalance. "Nothing."

  Colin's gaze sharpened. "Lucas."

  "Something from the Comey's shop."

  My brother was not stupid. "A fetish bag? What could you have possibly been carrying in your pocket from their store? Those women are positively terrifying."

  I didn't disagree. I knew firsthand. "It was nothing."

  Colin scoffed. "We don't need their black arts, Lucas. So you must have been carrying it for a reason. And since you took it with you when you met Grace, I have a bad feeling I know what it was."

  I let out a sigh. "I'm an asshole," I admitted.

  "Let me see it," Colin demanded.

  "No."

  "Lucas. Did you purchase a love satchel from them?" He squeezed the space between his brows and let out a low, horrified chuckle. "She's a clairvoyant, you moron, not to mention smarter than you. Of course she was suspicious. She had every right to be! Can you imagine how she feels if she suspects you tried to put a love spell on her?"

  "But why didn't it work?" I wondered aloud.

  "Brother, one day someone is going to punch you in your stupid face and I'm not going to feel sorry for you." He sighed and sat up straight. "Do you know anything about the Comey sisters? At all?"

  My gaze narrowed. "Witches. Powerful. No idea why they're here."

  Colin laughed. "They're also powerful advocates of women's charities. There's a rumor the Jinn in this town hires one of the sisters for work when she comes across a client who is a victim of abuse."

  I frowned. "Well...that's good, but what does that have to do with me?"

  Colin snorted, but it sounded horrified. "Do you really think witches involved in those kinds of things are willingly going to sell you a love spell when the basis of a love spell is to subvert the free will of a female target?"

  My mouth went dry. I flew off the couch and raced to my bedroom.

  It was on fire. And Morgana was standing in the middle of it.

  Shit.

  14

  I was once again standing on the porch of Grace's home. I looked a little worse for the wear these days, especially since I'd spent the last week convincing my parents not to disown me. Morgana had done quite a bit of damage to my bedroom and the family home, and she'd broken four of my ribs. All in all, from what Colin told me later (in a disturbingly admiring tone) was that I'd gotten off easy compared to some of the stories he'd heard about her.

  But even worse than that, Morgana had confessed to calling Grace beforehand and telling her what I had done and contacted my mother as well. To add to that shit cherry on top, the sachet she'd given me hadn't contained even a hint of a love spell. Instead, the only thing of substance inside was a tracker which she used to project herself right into my bedroom where she'd destroyed my property and beat the ever loving hell out of me, extracting a promise I would grovel appropriately at the altar of Grace for as long as necessary.

  Of course, I'd resolved to do that during my conversation with Colin, but Morgana's brand of convincing had only solidified my promise. After I'd healed, which usually happened a lot faster since I was a vamp but was delayed because Morgana had poisoned the fire with black garlic (one of the only things that could weaken us), I had to deal with my parents.

  I wasn't disowned, but the cost to repair the family home would be taken out of my trust fund, and I had to find my own place to live within a month. My trust fund allowance would be cut in half. I could still live comfortably, but I could no longer afford to not worry about money.

  I didn't dare ask Morgana for my money back. Even I was not that stupid.

  Though I had been abominably stupid before. I hadn't even visited Marissa over the last two weeks, and I knew I needed to do that. All of this had started technically because of her and I hadn't even brought her groceries. As soon as I properly apologized for what felt like the hundredth time to Grace, I'd head over to her house.

  I knocked and rang the doorbell, but there was no vehicle in the drive so I suspected she wasn't home. Either that or her car was glamoured because she was trying to avoid me. But I knew Grace well enough to know she confronted things direct. If she wasn't flinging open her door, unhinging her jaw and biting my head off, she probably wasn't home.

  I got back in the car and headed to Portia Kadish. She had an...interesting relationship with my family, so I knew she would see me right away.

  Portia did not look amused nor even a hint sympathetic about my sorry state. "Lucas," she said, and led me into her wood paneled office.

  "Hello, Portia. I've come to discuss - "

  She waved a hand at one of the leather chairs in front of her desk. "I know what you're here to talk about. I don't have an ounce of sympathy for the mess you've gotten yourself into." She steepled her hands in front of her face and looked at me, her green eyes piercing and intimidating. "Grace is a...handful."

  I snorted at that one.

  "I have no idea why she's so brass
, but I have to admire her gumption. If she wants something, she is going to do her best to get it." She smiled at me and it wasn't friendly. "But here's the thing, Lucas. She doesn't want you. And even if she did at first, you've done so much stupid shit to her that it would take a divine miracle to get into her good graces again."

  I bowed my head. "I know."

  "That's not even counting the stunt with Morgana. If it had been up to me, I would have sent her with stakes and an ax. To dare to try to subvert someone's free will, not to mention screwing with one of my clients?" Her eyes went heavenward. "The bounds of your rampant stupidity are endless."

  "I'm aware, Portia."

  She shut her eyes and it appeared like she was counting to ten. "Then why are you here?" she asked after a moment.

  "Because Grace elicits..." I paused, uncomfortable. "Feelings in me."

  Portia snorted. "If that feeling makes your pants swell, it's called an erection, you tool."

  I pressed my lips together to keep from snarling at her. "I'm well aware of what an erection is," I snapped. "Those are not - well, that isn't the feeling I'm speaking of."

  "Let me guess. Grace doesn't give a crap about your status or where you came from and it disturbs you that she calls you out on your bullshit?"

  I nodded. "Partially."

  "This is called growing up, Lucas Marsh. And it's something your parents should have forced you to do years ago."

  "I am aware. I would like the opportunity to speak to Grace but she will not return my texts. I suspect she's avoiding me. Again."

  Portia's laugh was sweet and tinkling. "And you expect me to help you with that?" Her eyes went from emerald to gold. "Listen to me very carefully, Lucas. I am not human. Nor am I weak. I choose to meddle in love lives because I can see the outcomes of those attraction lines. I chose you. I know you didn't want to be chosen and you fought against it tooth and nail, but it would have happened anyway. Maybe not as disastrous as this way, but still, Grace would have been in your life. However, I cannot affect someone's stupid, immature decisions, and now this is your disaster to clean up. If you want her, you need to show her. Drop your arrogance. Drop your pretenses. Drop your ego and tell her you need her."

  I bristled. "I don't need her."

  The gold abruptly dropped from Portia's eyes. "Then you don't need me. Admitting our weaknesses is the first step in any relationship. You are still not ready. I will not make Grace see you." She leaned forward. "You know what I do. You know how good I am at it. Your mother and father are the product of that. Considering you are here today, you know what I think you and Grace are. If you are not ready to accept that, I will move on. There is never one possibility in someone's life. There might be one better, but Grace deserves better than the man you are right now. We both know it."

  With a flick of her fingers, I was tossed out of her office and onto the sidewalk of the Deadication Dating Agency.

  Was this the month of women kicking my ass or something? I rubbed the back of my head and slammed my other fist into the concrete, making a large spiderwebbed mark in the concrete.

  I was officially on my own.

  I made my way over to Marissa's house, playing the conversation with Portia over and over in my head. There was no way Grace and I were meant to be together. I liked her, respected her, and had a genuine wish to date her, but soulmates? I wasn't quite sure I believed in them. Plus there were so many women and female creatures here in Midnight Cove that the odds of it being a pain in the ass clairvoyant were pretty low. I pulled into my friend's driveway, turned off the car and considered the woman inside. Was I being blind not to notice the potential there? A part of me felt uncomfortable with thoughts heading that direction, but maybe Marissa needed more than just financial help. Portia had to be wrong. Grace and I were oil and water, fire and gasoline, not soul mates. She threw us together just for entertainment, not because we belonged together.

  I knocked on the door and smiled as it opened seconds later.

  Marissa looked way more pregnant this time. I blinked in surprise. "Wow."

  She patted her stomach. "Yeah. Wow." She held the door open for me. I stepped inside and turned to Marissa and really, truly looked at her.

  She was gorgeous. I reached over and took a lock of her hair in my hand. Marissa tilted her head to the side. "Lucas?"

  "I want to kiss you," I blurted.

  Marissa deftly stepped aside, despite her advanced state of pregnancy, and laughed. "Uh no. I'm not sure what's happened to you, but you look like shit and your eyes look like they're haunted." She rolled her eyes at me and patted me on the arm. "Come inside and have some tea. You're welcome to have a nervous breakdown here, but if you kiss me I'm going to knee you in the balls. Sorry. I'm a one man woman and that man died and left me a widow."

  "Shit Marissa. I'm sorry." I scratched the back of my head.

  She waved a hand at me as she walked into her living room. "Every man gets one free pass. That's all. Plus, the rumor mill still manages to reach me here in this lonely old house. Tell me about this little clairvoyant you've been so terrible to."

  I groaned. "How in the world did you hear anything about this?"

  Her eyes sparkled. "Midnight Cove Mom Forum. Your family is all the rage."

  "What?" I let out a startled laugh. "We're on the internet?"

  "You sound like you're ancient, Lucas. Everyone is on the internet. Especially if they love salacious gossip." She poured me a cup of tea and shoved it into my hands before she lowered herself onto a chair and sighed. "I'm enormous," she moaned.

  "You look gorgeous." She did. Pregnancy had given her a glow I'd never seen before.

  "Psssht. Stop stalling. Tell me all about Grace." She picked up a cup of tea and stared at me over the rim as she took a sip. "Also please do include why you're such a jerk to her when you've never been anything but a gentleman to me."

  There was no way she knew about the love potion. "Tell me what you heard."

  A smile curved her mouth. "Nope. Tell me all about the glorious beard you grew for your first date."

  I told Marissa everything. Every terrible detail. Every incident that made me look like an enormous jackass and when I finished, she set her mug down on the table with a loud clack and stared at me, her entire body bristling with anger. "You tried to use a love potion to keep her close, abusing her own moral code not to look into your future if you tried to have a relationship with her?" She shook her head. Marissa's nostrils flared. "I would have put you down like a dog," she hissed, and I could tell she was serious. "You deserved everything you got from Morgana Comey and then some."

  I hung my head. "I know."

  "When are you planning on making this up to her?" She shifted in her seat and winced.

  "Are you okay?"

  "Fine," she snapped. "When are you going to throw yourself on her doorstep and grovel? She obviously cared about you if she agreed to go out with you again, even after you totally botched the first apology. And apparently the second one." Marissa rolled her eyes. "You'll be lucky if she doesn't put a hole the size of a dinner plate through your chest when you knock on her door."

  "Why are all the women in my life so violent these days?"

  "Because we have to deal with stupid shit like this all the time, Lucas." She crossed her arms over her chest, but they slid and rested on her belly which made her look ridiculous. But she was still a powerful vamp so I dared not laugh. "Do you care about her?" she demanded.

  My eyes slid away.

  "Ah. You do. You just don't want to admit it. That's why you came here and got all handsy! Typical distraction maneuver. You're such a tool."

  "Stop insulting me!" I shouted.

  "Stop doing things worthy of insult!" she shouted back.

  We glared at each other. "She doesn't want anything to do with me," I admitted.

  "Can you blame her?"

  "I suppose not."

  She leaned forward as much as she could which wasn't very much. "Listen to me
. You go to her. You apologize in a genuine, contrite manner. Do not smile. Do not smirk. Do not look below her nose. Don't even move a muscle. You stand there and take it like a man. Whatever she has to say to you, you do not fire back. And if she asks you a direct question, I swear to the gods, Lucas, you better answer her like an ancient immortal and not like an immature frat boy. And if she asks you a rhetorical question, you had better not answer. Nothing but trouble will come from that. Do you hear me?"

  I nodded.

  "But are you listening to me? Really listening?"

  I sighed but nodded again.

  "Good. Now get out of here and go to her."

  "She isn't home."

  Marissa snorted. "I still want you to leave."

  "You need groceries. I'll swing by the store and drop them back here."

  "No. I'm fine for now. I don't want to see you back here until you've managed to give Grace a proper apology. I'll be scouring the mom boards for news."

  I stood. "You aren't even a mom yet. Don't you feel like a fraud?"

  "You're the one asking me that question?" She shoved me toward the door. "Don't come back here until you have a new girlfriend."

  I stuck my tongue out at her as she opened the door.

  "Nice. That's what a mature immortal does."

  I stepped out onto the porch and was about to retort, but the door shut in my face.

  "Pregnancy is making you very volatile, Marissa!"

  If I had x-ray vision, I bet she was giving me the middle finger through her door.

  15

  Grace

  I was in dire need of groceries so that was how I found myself at the local Midnight Pack and Grab with a basket full of crap I didn't need. It didn't help it was in the middle of the night and that was when all the cravings for bad things were the worst. So far my cart was filled with Cheetos, Twinkies, Zebra Cakes and two cartons of ice cream. All stuff that would in no way impede me fitting into my shorts later next week.