The Clumsy Clairvoyant Read online

  So...I held my phone up and stared at it. I guess I was done.

  With a weird feeling in my chest, I pressed Delete Thread on the text messages I'd sent Lucas, and I went into the contacts area of my phone and deleted his number out of it. It was better to do that than to leave temptation up in the air. Now I couldn't text him at all.

  Unless he texted me.

  Which he wouldn't.

  Right?

  "Uuuughhh," I said, tossing my phone onto the counter. "One date. Get a grip on yourself, Grace Banner." It had been a terrible date. Massively bad. And yet...when he'd realized I was onto him, he'd turned into somewhat of a gentleman. Somewhat because he definitely wasn't perfect.

  With a start, I realized Lucas wasn't the end of the world. I reached over and snagged my phone again, and dialed Portia up. She'd given me her cell phone number which was a real risky thing to do considering how we met.

  She answered on the second ring. "I heard," she said, effectively cutting off my tirade about how shoddy her services were. "I stand by my capabilities and must remind you dating is not a sprint. It's a marathon and the participants must condition themselves before running it." There was a pause and just as I was about to speak, she rattled on. "Do you think you're conditioned enough to run it, Grace Banner? Or do you think you need to pause and catch your breath?"

  This chick. "Considering I camped on your doorstep for a week, I would consider myself quite conditioned. But I would also caution you about your running analogies. I only run when chased. And right now I'm not feeling very chased. So forgive me if I decide to walk."

  I could hear the roll of Portia's eyes. "I have a couple more men I'd like you to meet. One of them is Louis -"

  I only knew one Louis. "From the butcher shop? No. Absolutely not." My stomach roiled at that one.

  Portia let out a huff of breath. "Fine, the other one is a psychic working downtown."

  "No. No psychics. I'm a clairvoyant. Why in the world would I want to live with a psychic? That would make for some super awkward family dinners with both of us spouting out nonsense."

  Portia let out a long breath. "You should never wait for something to fall into your lap. If you see someone you want, go get him."

  Chills ran across my back. "The only falling being done is by me right now. Over every nonexistent object in my path."

  "Keep joking, Grace. It's a defense mechanism that will fail you one day."

  The line clicked in my ear. Portia had hung up.

  I growled at my phone and set it down on the counter. Portia was both annoying and cryptic. A deadly combination.

  Later that night, after changing into a cotton tank top and a pair of yoga capris, I headed back to my shop. I had a late appointment today with a new customer. Before I walked out the door, I pulled down the soft cashmere wrap and placed it over my shoulders so I wouldn't seem too casual. I slid on a pair of ballet flats and jogged down the few stairs into the backyard. I'd built my shop several years ago with the help of my dad. It was an adorable mint green building with bright white shutters. Flowers adorned the porch and the top of it, spilling out of their hanging baskets. The landscaping was simple and green, but the smell of gardenias floated up and hit my nose, immediately relaxing me. I took customers back here by appointment only, and today I'd only set one because I was still shaken up by the events of my week.

  I jiggled my keys, searching for the right one, before I was able to unlock and push open the door. The smell of lavender and white sage hit me immediately and I let out a happy sigh, just like I did every single time I came in here. Flipping on the lights, I headed to the back of the small shop and picked up some papers I'd left lying around. Other than that small thing, the place was pretty clean.

  I lit a sage bundle, quickly walked around the place in a clockwise motion, and allowed the smoke to filter through all the nooks and crannies of the room, then saged myself before placing the bundle into a heatproof bowl. After that, I picked up a homemade concoction I'd made of rose and lavender and sprayed that in my hair and onto my decolletage. I lit several white and purple candles, turned on some concentration music and sat down to wait for the appointment.

  I didn't have long to wait. I heard the back gate unlatch and footsteps over the rocks I'd placed to help people navigate back to the shop. Moments later, an extremely tall man with a slightly familiar face stepped in to the open door. I stared at him for a second before I remembered to greet him.

  "My apologies. You look like someone I used to know."

  A sheepish smile crossed the man's face. "Well, yes, I do." He stepped forward and extended his hand. I reached for it, only to feel the tell tale signs of a vision coming on.

  "No," I whispered, knowing darn well I wouldn't be able to stop it. My hand clasped in his and the future foretold itself. Moments later, I swayed, only to feel myself swept up into powerful arms.

  I wasn't sure how long I'd been out, but I blinked rapidly to get my bearings. I stared up at a white ceiling and the fragrance of herbs came back to me. I winced and clasped my hand to my head, only to see a man staring at me with concern all over his expression.

  I groaned. "I am so sorry," was all I greeted him with.

  A smile appeared on his handsome features. "Well, I came here for a reading and I got a little more than I bargained for, so I guess I can tell you you don't charge nearly enough for your services."

  "I normally don't pass out either," I said, though that wasn't a hundred percent true. I could control my power most of the time, but there was the occasion when sometimes the future wanted to get out and took me over to do it. I studied the tall man.

  "You look just like Lucas Marsh," I finally said, putting two and two together.

  He held his hands out like he was surrendering. "Guilty as charged," he admitted. "He's my younger brother. I’m Colin."

  "Nice to meet you." Though I wasn't quite sure it was. "Did you really just come for a reading or are you here for something else?"

  A sheepish look stole across his handsome face. "Guilty and not guilty," he declared. "I really did come here for a reading, but more importantly, I came to apologize in person for my brother."

  I waved a hand at him and slowly sat up. "No apologies are necessary. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be him."

  "I agree. But he's an idiot, so the likelihood of that happening is low."

  I let out a surprised laugh and then a sigh because he was right. I wasn't getting an apology from him. Otherwise it would have happened when I sent him my text tirade.

  "I hardly ever remember my predictions when I fall into a trance like that," I admitted. "Anything good happening to you?"

  His brother smiled, a cute dimple appearing at the side of his mouth. "I'm going to fall into love kicking and screaming and darkness will fall at my door."

  I winced. "Oh. Sorry."

  He shrugged. "Maybe it means I fall in love with an evil queen or something. Darkness?" His laugh was self-deprecating. "No matter. Plus there's no one on the horizon right now so I'm assuming me being resistant to anything like that is in the distant future."

  "Maybe," I murmured, not having the heart to tell him my predictions usually came true within a few months. He seemed like a smart guy. He'd figure it out. Or he wouldn't. Either way, my bank account would be padded.

  "So how's Lucas?" I asked him.

  "Same, I guess, although he got rid of that ridiculous beard."

  "Thank goodness. He looked like a hipster Paul Bunyan."

  "Among other things. He came home and told me all about all the names you called him."

  I blushed. "He deserved it," I said in defense.

  "You'll brook no argument from me. There are very few days that go by when I don't want to smack him myself."

  "There was no need to come here," I told him. "Especially about Lucas. He and I were finished when he stuck me with the check." I frowned. "Tried to. Your other brother covered the dinner."

  "About that
, Ms. Banner, I'd like to convince you otherwise."

  I let out a bark of laughter at his joke, but sobered a few seconds later when I realized he was serious. My hand fluttered up to my chest. "Excuse me?"

  Colin dragged a hand up and tugged at his ear, possibly a nervous gesture. "Yes, well, I fully understand my brother is completely clueless when it comes to members of the opposite sex. Though he seems to think he oozes cool seduction, I believe he's just good at picking up floozies and doesn't realize the difference between someone with actual class or someone who possesses a vagina."

  I choked.

  "Of course, for science's sake, we have to agree there are a lot of humans with vaginas, but rather not a lot of people possessing both vaginas, a sharp intellect, and a certain amount of class who can recognize when it's time to bail. Wouldn't you agree, Miss Banner?"

  "Ummm. About the vaginas?"

  "About everything. You see, I'm not of the opinion that all women are good women. Nor am I of the opinion that all women should be viewed as objects. Lucas, I'm afraid, has never been trained in proper etiquette and frankly sees women as tools."

  I blinked at him. "So...you appear to be very aware your brother is a total douche cannon and yet you still want me to give him another chance? Even though you basically just told me he will chase anything that has the proper anatomy?"

  Colin's gaze narrowed and a small grin formed on his face. "See?! Bloody brilliant. Though I must confess I didn't quite mean for it to come out so bluntly, but yes, that is what I'm asking you."

  I let out a shocked snort. "Let me work this out a little more. I have a vagina. Check. I have a sharp intellect. Check. And I have some class. Check. Is this correct?"

  Colin nodded eagerly.

  "And your brother is not concerned with anyone's feelings other than that object in his pants?"

  Colin blinked several times and I watched as where I was going with this registered in that muddled, scientific brain of his.

  "Ahhh," he said.

  "And so, you want me to give up all of my self respect and allow someone who treated me like total shit another chance? Is that what you're asking me? Because if you are, you just totally negated your argument above. If I did what you're asking me I would a) not be possessed of a sharp intellect because women who are can recognize when a guy is treating them like shit and b) not be very classy because I would basically be dating an unreformed gigolo."

  Colin's mouth gaped like a fish.

  "Get the hell out of here, man." I swung my legs off the couch, stormed over to the door, opened it and pointed him out. "Also, you owe me for the session. I take cash only. If you don't have cash, I will bill you because I don't think I can stand you being in here for a second longer."

  He stood there for a moment, staring at me as if I was some undiscovered science experiment before he shook his head, murmured "quite right", and dug through his wallet for cash. I noticed him counting out way more than he owed me, but I wasn't going to say a word. I held my hand out and he dropped the cash in my hand as he brushed past me.

  "Miss Banner, I must -"

  I shut the door in his face.

  Were all of the Marsh brothers total idiots?

  I didn't stop long to think before I realized the answer was most definitely yes.

  7

  Two days later I sat in my shop meditating, still trying to overcome my anger with the entire Marsh family. I had not been very successful. A knock on my door brought me out of the stillness. I frowned because my next appointment wasn't for two hours. Untangling myself from the cushion, I headed to the shop door, pushed it open, and saw a pretty blonde with bright blue eyes staring at me.

  "Hello!" she chirped.

  "Erm. Hi?"

  "Yes. My name is Helen Reaper."

  "Hello. I'm Grace."

  "I know who you are! Portia told me. She sent me over here to chat with you and see if you'd be willing to help me out." I frowned. "Why would I be able to help you out?" And how exactly was she tangled up with Portia?

  "Your clairvoyance," she said slowly, as if I were a dimwit.

  "What about my clairvoyance?" I snapped. "I take appointments only." I was about to shut the door in her face, when she put a delicate foot in the doorway.

  "I'm assuming Portia hasn't clued you in." The woman rolled her eyes. "May I just take a few minutes of your time, then you can refuse me? I need to make sure I cross all my t's."

  I held open the door. "You have five minutes."

  "Excellent!" she crowed. She followed me in and plopped down on the couch. "Cute place you have here. My 'shop' is outside on a concrete slab."

  I raised one eyebrow.

  "I'm a necromancer," she said with a grin. "The only one in Midnight Cove." She wiggled her fingers.

  Creepy. "How can I help you?"

  "Over the last few months, some things have gone pretty wonky in this town. I'm not allowed to go into too much detail, but suffice it to say, things are getting weird and we have to be prepared. I'm here to see if you would use your powers to tap into the town and see if it can tell you anything."

  I tilted my head and stared at this weird woman. "Tap into...the town?"

  She nodded with vigor. "Yes! To see if you can give us a good timeline on when we can expect things to go to hell."

  I burst out laughing. "Did Lucas send you?" I rolled my eyes. "Is this his idea of payback for me texting him? What an idiot."

  Helen looked confused. "Excuse me? Lucas...Marsh?"

  "Yes. Lucas Marsh. Idiot extraordinaire. Ditcher of dinner dates. Wearer of hipster beards. Ruiner of romance."

  "Umm. I can assure you that no, Lucas didn't send me." Helen stared at me curiously. "Though I do know him. He didn't seem that...terrible. Though now I'm very interested to know what he did to get you all prickly."

  "I'm not prickly," I growled.

  Helen smiled at me in response.

  "Oh for heaven's sake." I really took the time to study the woman. Though her expression was mildly curious, she didn't look like a prankster. "You're serious," I said after a moment.

  "Dead serious," she said and snorted at her own pun.

  "I can't tap into an inanimate object," I said.

  "Hmm." Helen studied me and sighed. "Do you really feel the world is an inanimate thing?"

  My lips twisted to the side as my heart jerked. Guess I hadn't really thought about it. "Perhaps not, but I can't even tap into a person sometimes without fainting. What makes you think I won't harm myself?"

  She spread her hands wide. "I would never ask you to endanger yourself. But I would encourage you to stretch your wings a little bit. Especially if it means helping us keep this town intact."

  I sat back and crossed my ankle at the knee. My hips felt a delicious stretch which told me I needed to stop lazing around so much and get back to yoga. "You come here spouting doom and gloom and just expect me to buy it." I pointed to the window where the sunlight was streaming through. "Everything looks rosy out there."

  "Appearances can be deceiving," she declared.

  I wasn't sure if I liked Helen Reaper or not. She seemed too upbeat and cheery to bring such bad news to my door. Maybe that was the life of a necromancer? She was around death all of the time so why wouldn't she want to be happy?

  "What would I get out of this?" I asked.

  Helen's eyes sparkled. "I'm assuming you'd get into the good graces of Portia Kadish."

  I snorted. "Is there such a thing? She seems pretty crabby all the time."

  One of the woman's blond eyebrows rose. "Considering the stunt you pulled in the town square do you think she'd be happy around you?"

  My face heated with a blush. "There was no other way to get her attention."

  Helen rolled her eyes at that one. "I can assure you there are a thousand other ways to attract her notice. You just chose the scythe over the head option."

  "It wasn't that bad," I grumbled.

  "It was exactly that bad," she disagreed
. Helen stood. "I suppose I must be leaving. I will tell Portia you were not amenable to my suggestion."

  I watched her walk back to the door before I made up my mind. "Wait!" I called. "I'll try for you."

  She spun around, a brilliant smile on her mouth. "Wonderful! Do you need anything?"

  I shrugged. "If I do, I don't know what it is. I've never tried to tap into the heart of the world." At that I rolled my eyes because it sounded completely ridiculous. "I suppose we should go outside?"

  She was already at the back door so I followed her out.

  "Head over to the picnic area. I'm going to run inside and get a mat."

  When I came back out carrying a thick mat just in case I fainted, Helen was sitting on one of the patio chairs with her legs crossed and her ankle swinging to and fro. She looked utterly unworried about what the end result of this might be. I supposed when you knew it was going to happen, maybe you had a lot of time to adjust. What the heck did I know, though? I was about to try to read the fate of the world. Something that seemed utterly ridiculous five minutes ago.

  I sat down in the middle of the mat and was just about to try and center myself when Helen spoke.

  "So...you and Lucas, eh?"

  I cracked one eye open. "No. Not me and Lucas, eh. Not even a little bit."

  She harrumphed. "What did he do to you?"

  I let out a sigh. "My dating life is not going to get you the answers you need."

  "Ah, so a date," she said.

  I rolled my eyes, shut them again, and slowly sank my fingers into the rich dirt of my backyard.

  Absolutely nothing happened. I tried to concentrate on the sun, the moon, the earth underneath my fingers but couldn't find anything to connect to.

  After a few moments, I tried a different tactic. I focused on Midnight Cove and the magical border surrounding our town, keeping us separated from the rest of the world. I thought about the people inside of it, the magic keeping the town running and Portia Kadish. My fingers began to tingle and before I'd prepared myself, images began to flash behind my eyes like an old projector, quick and jumbled.