Out of Excuses Aphrodite (The Goddess Chronicles Book 8) Read online

  He hopped up beside me, tossed a coin to Charon, and extended his elbow for me to take.

  I placed my hand gently into the crook of his arm and leaned my head against his shoulder. "I've missed you," I told him honestly.

  He patted my hand with his other one and led me back upstairs into Hades' private area. "And I you." He sighed and I could hear the weight of exhaustion in it.

  "You aren't here on a pleasure call." I stated the obvious.

  A small smile touched his weary face. "I wish."

  We both fell silent and I allowed him to lead me up into Hades' library.

  My soon to be husband didn't seem surprised to see Hermes. Tilly, the Underworld's resident friendly ghost, had already poured tea and hovered at the corner of the room, her face blank and her eyes vacant.

  She still creeped me out but she'd never been anything but polite to me. One day I was going to sit her down (if ghosts could sit) and make her tell me her story. How did she get to be the Underworld’s number one tea serving ghost?

  "Tea?" Hades asked and at Hermes' nod, she poured three cups. Tea wasn't really my bag, but I started drinking it more to please my husband. Even if he had zero taste in drinks. We all had to sacrifice something for the ones we loved, right?

  But it wasn't unpleasant. Just not as good as the strong jolt of coffee when it hit your system.

  Hermes took a sip of the fragrant mint tea and sighed.

  "All is not well, I presume?" Hades was occasionally good at stating the obvious as well.

  A grimace lit Hermes' handsome face. "There has been some...unrest in Olympus."

  I snorted. He was being way too understated about what had happened in Olympus after Zeus' fall. To see him here and mostly uninjured seemed like a small miracle. The last I heard was that after that beautiful coronation things went back to normal which meant huge mobs of angry immortals were approaching the castle daily and demanding answers.

  I guess I couldn't blame them.

  It wasn't every day an all powerful god fell.

  After the games and once I knew everyone was all right, or...alive, Hades swept me away from the stadium and into the safety of the Underworld. I hadn't had the chance to say goodbye to anyone, although I'd been trying to reach out. It wasn't easy communicating here, and as much as I loved Hades, I was beginning to chafe at the "safety" he had so thoughtfully forced me into without asking how I felt about it.

  Hermes had obviously known I was here and had most likely contacted the Fates to help him get down here unseen. I was dying to ask, but Hermes looked like he was barely able to stand up. I'd wait for a little while to ask my burning questions.

  "Are you still in rule?" Hades asked bluntly.

  Hermes' face darkened at his assumption. "I am," he ground out.

  "Good. We must ensure you stay there."

  Hermes sighed. "Should we?" he answered, then scoffed at himself. "Of course we should," he murmured bitterly.

  I reached over and touched his arm. "There is no one better to rule than you," I said, even knowing it was unhelpful. I'd been placed into situations of power where I had no desire to do anything but sink into self-pity. It wasn't easy and it wasn't fun. But that was the thing about ruling. It was neither, but other people needed a leader. Someone to rely on. And Hermes could be that man for them.

  Some people wanted power and those people rarely made good leaders. Others shunned it and as much as I hated to say it, those were sometimes the people who made the best leaders. I, of course, did not include myself in this assumption because all I wanted to do was run away screaming any time someone made the "Queen" comment to me. I was still trying to figure out what I was supposed to be the queen of. I assumed it was the Underworld, my mother assumed I would unite us all.

  Whatever that meant.

  After the games for my hand, something very curious had come up about my parentage, so the only thing I could think of uniting was the Titans and the Olympians. I didn't envy the person who got that job, but unfortunately it looked like it was going to be me.

  Yay me!

  Hermes sat his tea cup down and rubbed his eyes with his palms. I sent a glance to Hades and cleared my throat. He gave me a blank stare, and I rolled my eyes because even if you were in love with one of the most powerful people in the universe it didn't always mean they could take a hint.

  "Perhaps Hermes would like to rest before continuing?" I asked in a way I hoped was not really asking.

  Hades' eyebrows ran together and he opened his mouth to speak.

  I didn't let him. "I agree," I said for him. "Hermes, why don't you follow me and we can get you set up in some quarters so you can rest for a little while?"

  His eyes looked relieved, but his face had that look that said he would refuse me.

  "I insist," I told him. "You wouldn't deny the future Queen of the Underworld, would you?"

  When he opened his mouth to speak, I smiled brightly and added, "The very pregnant and hormonal future Queen of the Underworld?"

  Hermes sighed in annoyance but choked out a laugh. "How could I refuse such a gracious offer?" he said quite ungraciously.

  He offered his arm and I took it as I led him down the halls to the guest quarters. When we reached the best and cleanest room we could offer the new king of the Olympians, I pushed open the door and let him step in.

  He looked around the room for a moment and I saw his shoulders physically drop. He sighed.

  "Hermes, rest for now. There will be plenty of time to talk tomorrow."

  He turned to me. "Not really, Abby. Every day the mob grows larger and the discontent grows stronger."

  I smiled at him, my eyes sad. "Then rest for this evening and we will speak again at dinner."

  He nodded once, the lines on his face exaggerated.

  I pulled the door shut behind me and leaned against it. A long sigh escaped me.

  The humans were right. There really was no rest for the weary.

  I was still having trouble adjusting to the dinners we were forced to have since I'd moved into the Underworld. Before when I'd been here, Hades had cooked for me a few times. Since many of those times were shirtless, I couldn't ever remember having bad food. But now that I was knocked up and about to marry him things had gotten a bit more...formal around here.

  It was driving me crazy.

  The formal dining area had a table that had to be at least twelve feet long. The chairs were spaced about a foot apart and since it was usually just me and Hades eating together, it was...weird. At first he had me sit all the way down at the other end and it was like looking down an extremely long tunnel. I had perfect vision but Hades was so far away from me I had to squint to make out his handsome features.

  I'd quietly removed myself from that stupid situation and had chosen to sit next to him from then on. At first he'd been surprised but I saw a brief smile flicker over his face before he dug into the weird ass stew his kitchen staff had made.

  Hades had been alone for a long time.

  I was a splinter inside of the skin of the Underworld and I knew it. Things were changing and everyone knew it.

  I led Hermes into the dining area and he snorted whenever he saw it which made me snort and clap a hand over my mouth to keep from hurting Hades' feelings.

  "This is a little ridiculous, don't you think?" Hermes whispered in my ear.

  I nodded sharply as I watched my future husband settle a napkin of the finest silk across his lap. "I'm working on it."

  Hermes' left eyebrow rose, but he wisely dropped it. He chose a seat next to Hades which made me laugh. I sat on the other side of him and if Hades was discomfited, he didn't say anything. It was better than yelling.

  "Welcome," Hades said to Hermes, his tone formal.

  I sighed. Hermes was the same dude who saw me organize an almost fatal paranormal paint ball tournament and smartmouth his dad almost every single time I was around him. I didn't have the heart to tell Hades the formality was wasted.

  A
bemused expression on his face, Hermes nodded and fingered the silk napkin with confusion.

  I glared at him to cool it and Hermes, lips twitching, wisely let it fall into his lap.

  And so the dinner chimes rang, the kitchen staff of damned souls came marching out laden with a ridiculous amount of food, and we suffered through the most ridiculous twelve course dinner that ever was.

  I would have to address this sooner rather than later. It was off the charts weird.

  I skipped over the initial dishes of calamari and shrimp, but plowed into my lobster bisque like I was a shipwrecked Tom Hanks who'd just been rescued by a James Beard award-winning chef.

  This was what pregnancy did to you. It wasn't pretty, folks.

  Hades and Hermes made awkward conversation, and as I was mostly engrossed in my food, I didn't care too much. It wasn't until the dessert round that I finally spoke up. "Listen you two. We've been through a lot together and this has to be the most awkward dinner I've ever experienced in my many years here in the world. Let's do each other a favor and cut the canned formal responses and speak as friends, not as kings and queens. Can we do that? For the love of all that's holy?"

  Two gorgeous pairs of eyes swung to me and blinked owlishly. Hades was the first to give in. A sheepish expression crossed his face. "My apologies," he said. "I am used to being alone, and when I host it's to gods who expect all the formalities."

  I reached over and grasped his fingers in mine. "But we are family."

  Hades throat worked and he gave me a short nod. "Family."

  "Family," Hermes said and laughed. "And oh what a motley crew we are."

  With a wave, Hades allowed the kitchen crew to serve us dessert and I mauled it like a trucker does a gas station hot dog. Which is to say it wasn't pretty but I had no regrets.

  The two men in my life watched me with appalled expressions.

  "Pregnant!" I mumbled through a mouthful of chocolate but didn't stop eating long enough to say anything else.

  When it was over and I was sufficiently satisfied with my kill, I set my fork down and waited for them to finish.

  "That was...frightening," Hermes said under his breath.

  "And it's only the first trimester," Hades said.

  "I'm right here, jerks," I said cheerfully. "And I'm also hormonal. Offend me at your own risk."

  Once dessert was finished and our plates cleared, we sat back and sighed in satisfaction. "I think we should burn this dining room to the ground," I said as I patted the beginning slight swell of my belly.

  Hades' eyes widened. "What? Why?"

  "Because it looks like it should belong to Bela Lugosi. At any moment I expect vampires to come pouring out of their coffins."

  Hermes barked out a laugh.

  Hades looked at him. "Do you agree?" His voice was strained.

  "Errrmm," he said.

  "He does." I grinned at Hades. "It's very Halloweentown."

  "I don't even know what that means," Hades said, "but it can't be good."

  "Burn it down," I whispered.

  "Perhaps we can stifle your pyromaniac tendencies and consider a remodel?"

  "Maybe we can just burn this table then," I said cheerfully.

  "And what would I host dinners at?" he said patiently.

  "If you can tell me one dinner you've hosted in the last hundred years that had more than six people attend I'll clamp my lips shut."

  My future husband's eyes narrowed, but I could see the dawning realization on his face that he couldn't think of any.

  "Ha!" I crowed. "Burn it. Burn it!" I chanted.

  Hermes finally interrupted with a gentle throat clear. "As much as I enjoy watching you two bicker, can we get back to the matter of me begging for your help?"

  I shut my mouth. I had thousands of years to make fun of Hades. "You don't have to beg us for anything." A grin spread across my face. "In fact, I'd be honored to finally be the one helping you. Consider this my pleasure to help pay you back for all the times you've assisted me and helped me avoid certain death."

  Amusement flickered over his face. "I never wanted you to pay me back for it," he insisted.

  "I know. But I finally get to."

  Hades put his game face on which made me snort with laughter. Every time he got serious about strategy or an important issue, his face would clear, his eyes would turn to quicksilver and his mouth would press together as if he were so lost in thought he couldn't even take himself.

  "We need a strategy," he said.

  "I'm really good at blowing things up," I said. "Literally and figuratively."

  Hades turned those quicksilver eyes to me. "I do not want you involved in this, Aphrodite. You are carrying my heir."

  My mouth dropped open, and even Hermes sucked in a shocked breath. Oh no, he didn't. Rage began to kindle at the bottom of my toes and slowly spread through my body until it threatened to explode from my head and shower everyone with the lava of my anger. "You have about five seconds to take that back," I said to him and watched as the slow realization of what he said hit him like a semi-truck careening off the highway. But to my utter surprise and his soon to be utter detriment, he didn't.

  "I chose my words poorly," he admitted and as soon as I felt the warm fuzzies of an upcoming apology, he ruined it by saying, "But I still mean it. Our child will be the first heir to our kingdom. I cannot risk you being involved."

  Hermes wisely chose to stand at this point and remove himself from the dining room with barely a whisper of a pushed back chair and quiet footsteps.

  Game. On. Dude.

  As it turned out, I got to burn down the much hated dining room anyway. Quite by accident. Pregnancy, as I found out as soon as it was too late to stop, heightened my powers and made me a wee bit more volatile than usual. And, it also told me that my child was going to be a little hellraiser with pretty much a knack for any kind of fire magic.

  Hades stood behind me as we watched the entire room go up in a blaze of glory.

  He had said things.

  I had said things.

  We destroyed a room in the process.

  Good times.

  "I'm going back to Asheville for awhile," I said as soon as I could speak and be sure fire wasn't going to come spitting out of my mouth.

  "Abby." Hades' voice broke. "It's for your own good."

  "The only one who gets to choose things for my own good is me." I blinked out of the room and left him standing there with a stricken expression on his face. I loved that man like my soul was on fire, but I would never let another man control me. I understood his concern, but I was a freaking immortal. I didn't live this long by being stupid. Well...maybe a little bit of it was sheer luck, but most of it was sheer dogged tenacity.

  The first person I saw was my mother. She was lounging in the couch reading a book called, "Immortals and Their Daughters. Yes, Your Tiny Goddesses are Crazy." I sighed and she lowered the book and adjusted her position so I could sit beside her.

  "I smell smoke," was the first thing she said.

  I patted my belly. "We got a little pyro in here."

  "Mmm," she agreed. "You better have a big budget for curtains."

  "Now that we no longer have a formal dining room, maybe we can funnel that money over into the curtain budget."

  My mother sighed. "You're leaving me, aren't you?"

  I nodded. "For a little while."

  "He doesn't mean to control you, Abby. He's a god. A shunned one. Our kind -" she paused, "all kinds fear him. As they should. But this makes him lonely. You know this, daughter. He wants to protect what's his."

  "But I'm not his," I protested.

  "Oh, Abby. Of course you aren't his property. But he loves you. Fiercely. Perhaps you should go speak to him."

  I stood. "No man will control me, Mother. No man will ever tell me what to do."

  Her mouth turned downward. "I don't disagree. But make sure you know what you're doing here. You are pregnant. A target for every immortal right now becau
se of what happened at the stadium. You are safest here."

  "Hermes needs my help."

  "I don't doubt it, but perhaps you can reason with Hades. Instead of stomping out like a petulant 12-year old."

  Wounded, I glared at my mother. "I will see you soon," I said shortly. I blinked out and visited Hermes before Hades could find me.

  He was sitting on his bed with his head in between his hands.

  "Hey."

  He jerked his head up. "Gods, Abs. You scared me."

  "Sorry," I said, not sorry at all. "I'm leaving for a little while."

  His mouth thinned. "To Asheville?"

  I nodded. "I've been missing Clotho," I admitted.

  "You shouldn't leave Hades right now," he said.

  "Hades will be fine. It's you I'm worried about."

  He gave a choked laugh. "You're carrying the Lord of the Underworld's child and you almost burned down the establishment, and you're worried about me?"

  "I've always had messed up priorities," I admitted.

  Hermes snorted. "This will hold until you get your head straight."

  "Liar," I admonished him. "I can only think you've downplayed how dire your situation is. I will help you." I patted my stomach. "And so will Junior here now that I suspect he might actually be a dragon."

  "I can still smell the smoke," Hermes admitted. "That was the child?"

  "Yup. Pretty freaky."

  "Well at least you got to burn something down." Hermes stood and took the few steps over to me. He gathered me in his arms and I breathed in his familiar comfortable scent. "Contact me when you get settled in."

  I nodded. Just as the doors burst open no doubt to let Hades in, I disappeared in a shower of pink and silver light, only to hear my fiance cursing up a blue streak.

  Chapter 4

  Clotho was standing in the kitchen holding out a cup of coffee to me even before I had fully formed.

  "I love you, woman," I growled thankfully as I took the cup from her.

  "I know you do." She sipped her own coffee as she glared at me. "I have missed you."