Out of Patience Aphrodite Read online

  “Well it hurts,” I hissed.

  He took a few steps over to me and took my hand. A second later, a soft white light began to seep from him and into me, dulling the edges of the pain. I sighed and felt some of my tension slip away. “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “It’s the least I can do.” He stepped away but not before brushing a hand lightly over my hair.

  I was terrified. I had no idea how to raise a child. No idea how to change diapers or breastfeed or if I could breastfeed, or what color I should have painted the nursery months ago. Everything was still lying against the wall in boxes. The door to the room burst open and Artie stumbled in, locks of hair flying all over her face.

  We locked eyes. “Every time I try to say goodbye to you, you always do something absolutely ridiculous!”

  Her gaze was wild and teary.

  “I - I’m sorry I’m in labor?” I said, not knowing what else I could tell her.

  “You’re damn right you should be!” She turned to Clotho. “Where the hell is Asclepius?”

  Silence fell. “Clotho?”

  Clotho shook her head once.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” she muttered under her breath. Her nostrils flared and she looked at me. “No doctor, huh?”

  I slowly shook my head.

  “That’s so Abby,” she said mostly to herself. With a snap of her fingers, she produced a large leather satchel.

  Clotho squawked and Artie glared at her. “Do not lecture me about using my magic right now. If there was ever an emergency, it’s right now.” She set the bag on the floor and started pulling out all kinds of metal contraptions. I swallowed hard.

  “Heat water and gather up all the clean towels in the house. Give Abby a hair tie so she can put her hair up. Someone get a large cup of ice chips for her.” She lifted her gaze to Hermes. “You step up to the head of the bed because you don’t need to be seeing her wahoo.”

  Hermes started to open his mouth.

  “Don’t you dare say you’ve already seen it or so help the gods I’ll turn you into a snail and smash you under my shoe!”

  Hermes swallowed hard and stepped up to the head of the bed. I swallowed down a hysterical laugh. Rafe and Clotho scattered to do her bidding.

  Artie began to rapid fire questions at me and Hermes.

  “What happened? How long has she been in labor? Any bleeding?”

  Hermes answered her questions slowly. I saw her expression darken when he mentioned what happened with Persephone, but she had the good sense to not say anything. She walked over to the bed and felt around on my stomach. “You and I are about to get to know each other way better than we ever wanted to.”

  I snorted. “I’m sorry, Artie.”

  “For what?”

  “For you having to see my hooha.”

  She laughed. “If I were human I’d make a joke about tequila and college, but I guess I just have to say I’m glad it’s in this situation and not something where we might avoid eye contact in the morning.”

  Another contraction ripped through me, taking the air right out of my lungs. It didn’t hurt as much thanks to Rafe, but it was still no picnic.

  Artie lifted my legs up and got to the business of checking me out, and I didn’t ask any questions until she had left my side and was scrubbing her hands. “How in the world do you know anything about delivering babies?”

  “I don’t know anything about delivering regular babies,” she admitted. “But I have a knack with animals and have delivered many litters of puppies, cats, deers and a whole bunch more.”

  My mouth went dry. “Uhhhh. I’m not sure it’s the same thing.”

  “Close enough. There are still umbilical cords and placentas. It’s similar enough for me to be comfortable with it.”

  I wanted to scream But I’m not comfortable with it, but I was out of time. The contractions were starting to come faster and faster now. Clotho was the first to enter with a large pan of water and Rafe came racing in after her with a massive plastic cup. He shoved it at me, his eyes wide with fear. Artie pulled out several blankets from the closet and had me lift up so she could shove them under me. Rafe averted his eyes and scrambled close to Hermes.

  Artie took a deep breath and checked her watch. “You’re going to have to start pushing very soon.”

  I sucked in a terrified gasp and shook my head once, trying to be brave. Right afterward I burst into noisy sobs.

  “I don’t want to be pregnant anymore, Artie. Make it go away.”

  She ignored me. “Artie! Make it stop. I can’t do this. I don’t want it!”

  She dug through her bag. “Artieeeeeeeeee,” I screamed as Rafe’s magic wore off and pain ripped through me. “I’ll be your best friend if you make it stop. Please. Oh gods, make it stoooooopppppp!”

  Hermes reached over and gripped my shoulder and I screeched bloody murder at him. “This is YOUR FAULT!”

  He looked taken aback. “How can this possibly be my fault?”

  I waved an accusing finger at him. “You with your man penis and your insatiable sex drive. It’s all your fault!”

  “Errrmmm, Abs. That isn’t my baby.”

  “I KNOW IT ISN’T YOUR BABY. BUT YOU STILL HAVE A PENIS AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT.” My rage found a new focus. Rafe. “Do you have a penis, Rafe?”

  His eyes went wide with terror.

  “DO YOU RAFE? WHERE’S YOUR PENIS? DO YOU SEE WHAT YOUR PENIS CAN DO? LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT WHAT YOUR PENIS DID!!”

  The sounds of choking laughter broke through my rage. “You wait, Artemis! You just wait. You think penises are so great, don’t you? Wait until you’re laid up with your best friend staring into your hoohah! You think this is fun? WELL IT ISN’T FUN.”

  I screamed bloody murder as another contraction ripped through and I felt the most horrible urge to bear down. “Nooooo,” I screamed. “Stay there. I’m not ready.”

  “Push,” Artie urged.

  “NO,” I screeched.

  “Push, godsdamnit,” Artie screamed.

  Clotho meanwhile was plastered against the wall taking in everything with horrified eyes.

  “Life isn’t so beautiful now, is it, Fate?” I sneered, half sobbing.

  Artie placed a hand on my knee. “Push, Abby.”

  I gritted my teeth and pushed. “I HATE ALL OF YOU.”

  “And we love you, Abby,” Hermes said quietly.

  The fight went out of me. Wrenching sobs tore through me as I tried to push out the baby Hades and I had conceived in love, but he would probably never see.

  Artie’s hands were cool against my skin. Rafe and Hermes stood above me handing me ice chips and stroking my hair. Both of them were pale.

  Clotho sank down to the ground in a dead faint.

  “Thought she was made of sterner stuff,” Artie said, super casual, making us all laugh.

  One final push took everything I had and I sank back onto my pillows, exhausted. A soft cry ripped through the air. A hush fell over the room and the only sound was my son.

  My son.

  The rightful ruler of Olympus and the Underworld.

  Tears leaked from my eyes, but I was too chicken to look at him. I didn’t want to see what Hades and I had made together because he wasn’t here to see.

  His child was born into this world without him.

  My heart finished ripping in two as I lay exhausted.

  But Artie didn’t give me time to wallow. She cleaned the baby up and dropped it right on my chest.

  Not it. He. It was a he. Fully formed, pink, jet black hair and startling silver eyes. He was the spitting image of my husband. Magic poured off of him in waves. The entire room could sense it.

  Baby Draco was here and none of us would ever be the same.

  3

  The baby and I blinked at each other. Tears fell freely down my face as I tried to coincide what just happened with my shattered expectations of me having more time. There was no more time based on the wrinkled evidence lying on my che
st screaming bloody murder.

  “Oh gods,” I whispered, my arms tightening slightly around the wiggling bundle.

  “He’s gorgeous,” Hermes whispered over my shoulder.

  I startled, having forgotten he was above me. “Thanks,” I whispered. “I made this all by myself.”

  Hermes let out a surprised laugh and leaned down to brush a kiss across the top of my head. Artie scrubbed her hands at the sink and came over to sit beside me. She stared at the baby in awe. It was the first immortal born in millenia. But it was also the first true hybrid immortal born of an angel and Olympian. Hades was a unique mix of Olympian and angel, and I wasn’t sure how that was going to show up in our son, if it would at all.

  Thoughts of Hades made me shut my eyes and take a few deep breaths. He wasn’t here. I would be the one to raise him on my own.

  When I opened my eyes, the room was on fire. Artie sprang from the bed, her eyes wide with shock. Her magic was exhausted enough that she couldn’t do anything to stop the flames other than rush back over to the sink and try in vain to throw water on it. With a muffled curse, Hermes flung magic at it, stifling the blaze in a few seconds.

  “What. The. Hell?” I asked in wonder. My brow knit together and Hermes and I both looked down at the baby. He gave what seemed to be a little smirk. But that wasn’t possible, was it? He was less than an hour old.

  “Uhhh, Abby?” Hermes questioned.

  “Just a fluke,” I snapped. “Just a weird fluke.” We both knew I was full of crap. Nothing was ever a fluke when I was involved.

  Artie was slumped against the wall staring at the blackened curtains and nightstand. “What the hell just happened?” Her gaze flickered over to my baby.

  “Stop blaming Draco! He didn’t start the fire.”

  “Uh huh,” said Hermes. “It was spontaneous curtain combustion.”

  I held my son a little tighter. “Yes,” I said sullenly.

  My son sneezed as if in agreement, only to set the bed on fire. I screeched in alarm and scrambled to get out of the bed. Hermes took the baby, as I realized my nether regions were sore and tender from childbirth. Being immortal didn’t shield us from everything bad in this world. I hissed in pain as I swung my legs off, and as I started to stand, the pain increased in such intensity I slunk down to the floor. All I heard before everything went black was Hermes’ shout of alarm.

  I came to just as Hermes was laying me gently into the grass. “What happened?” I whispered as my eyes fully opened. I gasped and tried to sit up straight only to shout in horror. Fire was everywhere. My home was once again consumed by flame. Clotho was still passed out. Who carried her out, I had no idea, but she looked peaceful lying there oblivious in the grass.

  I snickered and sucked in a breath of horror. Artie gaped at me. I couldn’t help it. I snickered again, choked, and burst into hysterical giggles. Hermes, holding my brand new firestarter son, was wearing a look of concern. Baby Draco burped, causing the tree right next to us to burst into flames. By then I was laughing so hard tears were streaming down my face. I held my stomach, trying to staunch the pain the laughter was causing me.

  “The house,” I gasped. “The house is on fire!”

  Artie snorted and shook her head. “Yes. Captain Obvious.”

  “I’ve never lived in a house that didn’t burst into flames.” I gave her a manic grin. “THIS IS GREAT NEWS!” My friends stared at me as if I had lost my mind. In some ways, I guess I had. I was laughing as my brand new baby tried to burn everything to a crisp and I thought it was good news. But to me, in a weird sort of way, it was. Fire was cleansing. Fire was purifying. Fire was a new start.

  I reached over and took my son from Hermes. There was a little bit of a tug of war. “Hermes,” I warned. “I’m fine.”

  He relinquished the baby, but not before he muttered, “You aren’t even close to fine.”

  I nuzzled the top of his downy soft head. “Stop setting fires,” I whispered. He started up at me with ageless eyes and didn’t answer. Not that he could. Or...if he could, I hoped he didn’t. I wasn’t sure how many more surprises I could take this week.

  Hermes, staring over at the house burning to the ground, chuckled. My mouth twitched in amusement. Artie stared at him and sighed. A smile tugged at her mouth. “Both of you are completely insane.”

  “How many houses is this now?” he mused.

  “Gotta be at least three,” Artie answered.

  I grinned in delight. “I think this is number four. Maybe?” I looked up at the blue sky. “That has to be a record.”

  “If you were a human, you would be uninsurable.”

  I sobered. Hermes winced as he realized what he said. Artie was almost human.

  But Artie was still grinning at the burning home. “No worries. Abby isn’t living with me, so I plan to be very insurable.”

  Clotho stirred. I watched as she reached for her head, winced, and started as she saw everything in flames. Her wide eyes swung to mine and narrowed when she saw the broad smile on my face.

  “Everything is on fire! Are you insane?”

  I held my son up, watched as her gaze lowered and softened.

  “Oh,” she whispered. “He did this?”

  I nodded. “My perfect little pyromaniac.”

  She shook her head. “I can assist with his fire starting ability. We can dampen his abilities until he is of age to learn how to use them responsibly.”

  He gurgled in delight. Clotho blinked. “He seems...older than he should be. Is that normal?”

  I shrugged. “First baby born of Olympus that I know of in a verrry long time. Let’s watch and see.”

  Artie snort laughed. “Yep. Cuz that’s serving us real well these days, isn’t it?”

  “No one has died,” I reminded her.

  We both burst out laughing.

  Olympians. Lowering their standards since the dawn of time.

  We waited outside until the flames subsided. Clotho and Hermes both tried to douse the flames, but found they were unable to. Apparently my little guy was using a clever mix of hellfire, regular fire, and something unknown to them.

  “That’s a little bit disturbing,” Clotho said under her breath.

  “Don’t treat my baby like a freak,” I admonished her, though I was mostly kidding. It was a little concerning that my kiddo was using unknown magic. Especially since he’d been on this earth for less time than it took me to cook a dinner.

  “He needs some assistance in controlling his magic.”

  At my look, Clotho held her hands up in surrender. “Just for now. Until he can get everything under control and not start fires willy nilly.”

  I leaned back against the rough bark of the tree and snuggled my son. “How would you give him assistance?” I shut my eyes. I was exhausted. Most normal people didn’t have to go through childbirth and a destructive fire all in the same day. But I had never been what you called normal.

  “I’ll speak with my sisters,” Clotho said softly. She didn’t answer my question, and I knew her well enough to be concerned, but I was just so tired.

  Hermes sat down beside me, his long legs stretched out. He sighed and gently scooted me over a little bit so he could share the tree. “Where are we going to go now?”

  “We can’t go back to North Carolina,” Artie murmured.

  Atlas chose that point to show up. His voice rumbled across my skin. I snorted. “You know, you just show up whenever, wherever. I’m not sure you really understand this whole being my prisoner thing.”

  Atlas shrugged and popped down in the grass. He grabbed a stalk and began to chew on one of the ends. “It’s what I’m good at. Being in the right place at the right time.”

  My gaze drifted over to the still burning house. Atlas’ mouth twitched. “Well, the right place for me. At least I’m not stuck in there.” I watched in amusement as he did a double take. “Well,” he said and sucked in a breath. His attention turned to Draco. “You’ve been busy.” He was staring at m
y son with a look of awe. “He’s beautiful.”

  My hand stroked the downy hair on his head. His heartbeat was steady against my chest. “Thanks. He is pretty perfect.”

  “So how’d your house burn down?”

  My lips pursed. “Artie left the water on the stove. Ended up catching the curtains on fire.”

  I ignored Artie’s open mouthed look. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure why I didn’t want to tell him everything.

  “Uh huh,” he said. “And the hellfire mixed in?”

  Crap. Forgot about that. “I got a little bit emotional. Accidentally added to it.”

  His look was one of frank disbelief. I couldn’t blame him. I wouldn’t believe me either. “So...you’re just sitting here watching it burn?” He looked at all of us, a frown on his pretty mouth.

  Clotho shrugged. “We’re all exhausted. It’s the most entertainment we’ve had in weeks.”

  A hysterical giggle escaped me. Atlas shrugged. He knew we were full of shit, but didn’t push it too much more.

  Hermes shifted against me. “We need a place to stay. To plan. He reached over and entwined his fingers with mine. A place where Abby can rest and figure out her next move.”

  I squeezed his fingers, grateful for their warmth and grateful for him.

  Clotho cleared her throat. “I have a suggestion.” From the way she was squirming, I knew for a fact I was not going to like it.

  “Me too,” Artie said, her gaze flicking over to Clotho’s.

  Hermes sighed.

  “Did you have anything to do with this?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “I knew about it. I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

  Artie glared at him. “We think you should consider going to the Underworld.”

  My arms involuntarily tightened around my son. “Excuse me?” I whispered, unable to stop tears from pricking my eyes.

  Clotho scooted over to me. Her gaze was sympathetic. “No one can find you there.”

  “You want me to go to the place where my husband is blissfully canoodling with his pregnant wife?!” I blinked rapidly, and tried to take deep breaths, but my emotions were careening out of control.